How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
