After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
