Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
