Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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