I hate your face
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize