Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
