every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize