Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
