are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
