Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
