There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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