i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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