Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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