gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize