I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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