Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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