I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
