he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize