Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
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And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
it glows. i had to have it.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize