I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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