who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
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Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize