I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize