your room smells of hookers.
And success
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
