Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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