I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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