There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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