do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
