As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
