I've blown a few things in my day
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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