Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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