I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
