So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
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I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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