Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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