I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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