i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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