Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
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