That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
