I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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