who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
