she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
