Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Randomize
