Kareoke will never be a sober sport
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
