Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
