i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
