bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
