"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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