thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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