do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize