Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
