Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
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