If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize