I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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