Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
this will be a night to untag.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS: I just woke up from my shower
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
where are my pants?
in the oven.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize