Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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