I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize