hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
