i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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