I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
