How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
