Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
