So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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