Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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