I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
