We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize