i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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