Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
