just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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