Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
