we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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