Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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